Another open letter

They said that it would only be 6 months. But you fought and we all stood behind you, supporting you in every way possible. But we all knew it was your battle.

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From 6 months, it became 12, and a huge part of us thought it not necessary to be even counting anymore. Some call it a miracle. I call it strength and a lot of faith and love overflowing from each and every one of us behind you.  But most of all, I think that it’s the fighter in you.

Today, I am back here in my home town, away from the dreaded heat wave happening in Manila. Others might be jealous of me, but trust me, I’d rather be in Manila right now and have no other valid reason to come home. It was an impulsive decision but I knew I just had to be here. You are off your tubes now because Amma decided you’ve had enough. You’ve fought enough.  Well, Angkong, you showed me courage and strength I don’t think I would ever have in my life time. But you definitely inspired me to be  my best and to be strong as you.

As your first grandchild, I feel like I have some sort of responsibility to make sure that everything will be okay and I can guarantee you that the entire family will be okay. We  are all inspired by you to be strong and courageous but at the same time smart and careful. Throughout my entire lifetime and through your battle against the infamous C, you have taught us so much. You raised a family to be strong and to be fighters in this world just like you.

You didn’t lose this battle. You will leave this world in victory, with a family stronger than ever, and a story of a life to be told over and over again.

It feels like it was just yesterday, I was in Starbucks and I greeted you through text about 2 years ago on your birthday. I was in Manila and you were in Baguio. Your response to my greeting was simply, “Angkong Loves you”.

I know.

 

[I wrote this open letter to you about a year ago but it was just too difficult to post, to edit and to even to read. A year has passed and I’d say, time does heal but I we all know that we’re not yet healed. The entire family is healing but the hole in our hearts still yearn to be filled by your voice, your laugh and most of all your smile. Thank you again for everything]

 

Link to my first open letter

 

 

feeling or choice?

I used to think love was just a feeling.  After being in a relationship for a year now, I realised, it’s more than just an emotion and a feeling you get. It’s a choice.

If love was just simply a feeling, it could easily come and go. But after months of being with this guy I now consider my best friend, I realised, it’s that choice to be with each other, that makes this love greater than a feeling.

My friend who I debated this topic with months ago said that love being a choice just makes it more special. I didn’t agree with her then, but now I do.

There are those arguments, fights, disagreements and all the storms a relationship can possibly go through. But then you realise the value of choosing to stay and choosing to love that person despite the anger, the pain and all the tears that come along the way. It’s the fact that you choose to value the good more than the bad and choose to think that the way he makes you happy outweighs everything else that pulls you down.

It’s insane how fast a year can just fly by. It’s been a wonderful first year, baboy x

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